shards of something else.

A quiet afternoon here at Havenbooks today.... prime time to do some homework, but I can't help but savour the moment...... I'm sitting in a sunspot, eating my lunch, and feeling totally quiet and content. ^-^ What a gorgeous day it has been today! The golden sun is smiling. Here're the crisp, invigorating days I missed because of the gloomy autmn we had! Hmm..... don't really have anything substantial to say today.... what random thoughts can I organize into some semblance of order so that I can create a blog post??????

On a different note, my legs are TIRED from swords class....... if I got to sit for the rest of the day, I couldn't be happier. But oh how I'm loving this! The forms are definitely getting more complex now, and it's more of a work-out, but I think that's absolutely a good thing. We started practising jumps today! *grin* Much thanks to all of you that helped convince me to take this. ("Maybe it's God's will for you to gain some self-confidence." *lol!*)

I've never been one to make life-plans/goals...... I've never been one to construct lofty dreams of how I wanted my life to turn out, only to realize later that it isn't what God wanted for me. As a result, I've never truly had to surrender any plans I had, because I didn't have any to give up. I've always counted that as a blessing, because if I didn't have plans, then I'm totally open to what God calls me to, right? So I thought.

In the recent weeks, God has showed me that, whether it's intentional or otherwise, not considering certain options is synonymous to having plans and refusing to give them up for something better. What ever am I speaking of?? Missions! Let me back up a bit.

At the beginning of November, we had missions week at church, and our church-supported missionaries John & Kelly Ulrich (very neat individuals, btw!) came and spoke about their work in Zimbabwe. What exciting lives they lead! And afterward (maybe the next day or so), God started whispering to me...... I have been limiting myself to be used in this way because I've never considered it. Not that I've consciously said," no God, I don't want to be a missionary," but I guess of all the crazy things that God would want me to be, I never thought that this would be one of them. I've never had a great passion for some country or ppl group; I never thought of myself as the missionary type. Maybe I'm more attached to my western lifestyle than I realize. Maybe I'm scared that if I let myself try, I'd get hooked into it one way or another. I dunno. Whatever the reason, I never thought that being a missionary would be a possibility for me. How silly of me to limit myself..... to limit God.... in this way!! Not to say that this is what He's calling me to.... I'm not leaving for the mission field tomorrow or anything. But all this rambling to say that God has showed me that I'm not as open-minded as I once thought I was. All this to say that God has showed me that I need to come before Him and tell Him that I am truely here for Him to use, however He sees fit. All this to say that I'm glad He showed me now, before I missed something great.

All this to challenge each and every one of you, dear friends, to truely and completely give yourself away to God. Open up your self to every possibility, because He has something awesome in mind for you, something that you will spend the rest of your life regretting if you miss the oppurtunity.

Live with abandon.