unpremediated, arbitrary, slapdash, unplanned, and random all mean the same thing.......

yep.... no organized thoughts this time. just a hodge-podge of stuff.

today: i ascended to the realms of tornado-kick land in weapons class. HEE.

a random mini-survey (feel free to do it too! heh):
Most recent movie?
um..... saw the end of a late-night movie the other night about killer bats. have no idea what it's called though. ugh. nasty little beasts.......

CD or music download you just bought? (yes, that means purchased!)
"love, peace and happiness" by out of eden from itunes.... last cd i bought was skillet's comatose. goooooood record. :P

Favorite animal?
BIRDS. i'm not sure which sort. they are all so incredibly beautiful and intriguing. oh, and butterflies. butterflies are wonderful too!

American Idol or Dancing with the Stars?
hmmm. neither really..... but i really enjoy watching Idol auditions. hee. :D

Book you've read recently?
Well of Lies (a book about the e. coli contamination in Walkterton ON a few years ago) and The NIV Application Commentary for Romans.

Favorite "spare time" activity?
um....... definitely NOT applying for jobs or working on my thesis.

Batman or Superman?
Batman is cool with his fun gadgets.... I'll go with bachelor #1!! oh and he's rich! haha.... ;P

an attempt at coherency:
couple of interesting verses i came across tonite and have been chewing on... john 12:24 and 25. i love what Jesus says here.....

"I tell you the truth, unless a kernel of wheat falls to the ground and dies, it remains only a single seed. But if it dies, it produces many seeds. The man who loves his life will lose it, while the man who hates his life in this world will keep it for eternal life."(niv)

"Listen carefully: Unless a grain of wheat is buried in the ground, dead to the world, it is never any more than a grain of wheat. But if it is buried, it sprouts and reproduces itself many times over. In the same way, anyone who holds on to life just as it is destroys that life. But if you let it go, reckless in your love, you'll have it forever, real and eternal." (msg)

it's interesting to compare the verses in different versions of the Bible..... minor differences in wording leave a significantly different impression. it impacts me alot more that in the msg they start off with "listen carefully"...... it's like Jesus was right here telling me to listen, and listen well! i love that in the niv there's the emphasis on falling and dying, implying that we must come to a place of brokeness, where it truely hits us that we can't be all that we're meant to be if we cling to control with a white-knuckled grip.... and i especially love how the msg puts verse 25, that we must let go and be reckless in our love. it's such a striking way of describing the way we should live..... not reckless in a thrill-seeker sort of way, but to be within that love from God, and having that, to feel and live completely condfident and free, not afraid to take risks and to be stretched and used. heh. the powerful imagery in these verses absolutely strikes me...... one single grain, and a vast, magnificent meadow of gold that can feed thousands. can u see it? there is no comparison of that one grain of wheat with the beauty and majesty and usefulness of that meadow. but in that one grain lies infinite potential if it is planted and cared for by the Creator. it moves my heart and makes me want to pursue Jesus with a reckless abandon! ^-^ how has God's Word been stirring u up lately??


Wednesday (day in the life of a novice caffeine-addict)

*adapted from my on-the-go-journal*

Another Wednesday and I am caught journal-less once again..... I really should know better than to leave home without it by now. *smiles* Ah well. This notebook serves the purpose well; I love its wide-open pages.

Oh -- it's a glorious day today! Do you think that because I've been semi-complaining that it rains every Wednesday that Gd wanted to prove me wrong? If so..... happy foolishness! :P Whatever the reason, here I am sitting at a sun-drenched table, journalling, listening to the tight vocal stylings of Shane & Shane, and watching a brisk wind herd the clouds away to let a blue sky and golden sun through. (wow.... that was a long sentence....) What an absolutely luscious way to start one's day. ^_______^ I wonder where I can go today to make the most of this sun?

I haven't had a quiet moment to watch the sky in a long long time.....

Everyday I will praise.....
.... for You open Your hand and satisfy desires of all things.....
My God the King.......

So so so..... made it to my weekly coffeeshop date, without company this time. The sky's gotten grey, but it's not raining, so it's all good. :) I'm sitting in Starbucks in the Rideau Chapters. Drink was on the house since I had a coupon, and the barista convinced me to get the most out of it and go for a venti...... So here I am, sipping on a venti maple latte and journalling, while savouring the sultry voice of Diana Krall. Another perfect afternoon, don't you think? *hee* I love it when everything matches...... intimate acoustic music is perfect for quiet moments in the sun, and jazz is perfect for overcast skies and coffee.

HA. txp will never believe that I downed a venti latte. :P

Yeeeeah.... I see the precarious slope on which I stand...... no need to warn me. As long as I don't get addicted, I say! The latte's so good though, I must admit. And the whipped cream with maple syrup on top is heavenly. The first taste of that brought an unstoppable smile to my face. ^__^ I am so NOT addicted........

Well.... while I'm here, I guess I better get some work done! Laterz!

ps: we started double broadsword in class today, and will start straight sword soon. YEEEEAH! Soooooo excited. ^______^

I can't believe I finished that. A venti maple latte, aaaall in my tummy. Yum yum! ^^

HA. Maple latte numero deux!!! (The barista just came by with samples.... who could resist? :D) Am I wired yet??? What's it supposed to feel like?



Isn't it funny how we grow up wanting something, or wanting to be a certain way, and when God actually sees fit to grant that request later in life, one realizes that it's not really that desirable afterall? This just occurred to me this week as I was thinking about being lonely. I was thinking of Belize.... the places and the people that I miss...... how I miss being with the others! And how I miss having them near to share that time with..... also comparing my experience to that of the Evergreen team. That train of thought somehow led me to reflect back to when I was growing up. I've always kind of been a lone ranger.... I didn't really have any close friends that stuck as a child, and as I got older and made deeper ties, something always happened to remove my friends or me from the others' everyday life. Going to school, I studied something no one else in my circle of friends did -- for that matter, my field of study wasn't exactly something that Chinese people commonly studied. Subjects that fired me up didn't strike the same chords with my friends, so in that respect, I'm alone too. And of course, I can't leave out the fact that I am also alone in the romantic sense. Don't get me wrong; I am not bemoaning the state of my life or anything, nor am I pitying myself because I feel I am in some way lacking. God has surrounded me with absolutely wonderful people that care for me and support me..... I am so incredibly loved! And of course, despite other people passing through, my family has been a constant.... I am definitely not overlooking that blessing! I am, however, reflecting on this seeming trend in my life.

How did it come to be? What's God's purpose for always taking me away from people that I'm comfortable with, for plunging me into life situations that are never experienced with anyone?

Something small and seemingly insignificant came to mind: growing up, I'd been regaled with stories of trail-blazers, and I've always admired them -- people who lived life out of the box; who did different, and far more wonderful and interesting, things from all their peers; people who lived on the edge of the world and in the centre of God's grace. To be honest, I think I grew up wanting that in my life. I wanted more than the status quo. I didn't know how to get on that path of course, but I think I'd always felt that it would be such a thrilling way to live. It never occurred to me how lonely the road-less-travelled actually is. (The innocence of youth, I guess.... everything seemed so romantic then. :P) All through my life I never realized (until today) that I've been on this road all along; wondering how I'd get here never should've been an issue. I can't help but be somewhat amused as I recall all the times that I've cried out to God in anguish because I once again had to bid a friend farewell, or because I felt lonely, when all the while He was just giving me what I had so foolishly asked for.

After more thought, I'm thinking that perhaps..... just maybe.... it was not so much a foolish desire as it was a God-given one? I honestly think that He has wired me to want this, because this is the way that I can best be taught life's lessons. Anyone that knows me well can attest to the fact that I am an incredibly indecisive person who is also not too self-confident.... it is the easy way out for me to work with others and depend on them for anything that I can get away with. Therefore, if any amount of growing is to ever happen in my life, I NEED to do it on my own. I have to be pushed to a place where I have no one but God to turn to.... if He didn't teach me like this, I'd always be standing at the edge of the cliff, wondering if I could fly.

It's really very interesting when revelation smacks you up-side the head and you are able to look at something in your life with a whole new perspective. Yes, it sucks sometimes to not be able to reminisce with a friend and say, "Remember when we discovered this together?", to always have to struggle to recall a story like it was instead of re-visiting experiences and impressions that are shared and incomplete without an unvoiced understanding.......... Yes, it's hard feeling different from other people when all you want to do sometimes is to fit in......... Yes, trail-blazing can be lonely. But you know what? I'm learning to be okay with that. My God crafted me....... the Lord of the universe crafted me. He knows what He's doing, wouldn't you agree? He knows how I learn best; I have to trust Him. I will never be alone, because He won't forsake me.

And hey. It is, afterall, all I ever asked for. :)


Delicious Endeavors.........

Yaaaaay cooking. Yaaaaaaay food.

One thing I love about not being in school..... I have much more time to create in the kitchen! It's such a rewarding process too..... :P From caffeinated beverages to two-layer carrot and cheese confections, I've enjoyed stretching my cullinary muscles. Here's the evidence:

What a way to start the day.... Eggs scrambled with white and green onion, tomato, cheese; with seasoned turkey bacon. Accompanied by iced coffee spiced with ginger and cinnamon......

Double-decker carrot cake with TONS of pecans and cream-cheese icing.... made for h2o-kickoff potluck at Bonnie's house.

I have cracked the secret of the white sauce!!!!!!!! Spaghetti with white sauce (green and white onions, yellow/wax beans, ground-up Swedish meatballs), topped with pecans and parsley.

The last discovery opened up MANY new possibilties..... I present to you my first attempt at a cream soup (carrots, corn, green and white onion, tuna)!!


oh, how easily sanity and tranquility unravel...........

i'm falling down upon my knees to find the One who gives me peace........


(Building 429)

No I don’t understand
And I can’t comprehend
This power that draws me to you
But I know for the cross
I’ll consider it all lost
In an effort to tell of the truth

That the world may know
That the world may know
You have been heaven sent to us

I’ll be fearless for You
I’ll be fearless for You

Take me I’m Yours

I’ll be fearless for You

All the times that I’ve failed
When my doubt has prevailed
These are the moments I’m giving to you
Cause I can’t be ashamed
No I can’t fear the pain
When it comes time to be living proof

So the world may see
That the captives are free
‘Cause you have been heaven sent to us

Unwilling to bend
Unwilling to break
And Headstrong I’ll stand
No matter what it takes

Such a good song. *heh* No, I'm not running off to the overseas mission field any time soon, but the chorus has been resounding in my mind lately, as a new school year starts. It's a little odd, realizing that I won't be heading back to school this fall, for the first time in 19 years! Man. Imagine it! You've been a student for practically your whole life, and all of a sudden, you're not anymore. HOW weird is that! What does one do with oneself, when such a pattern of normalcy is no more? I feel like the whole horizon is spread out in front of me; every possibility is possible. I'm a bird, wings poised to fly.... the world can be mine. It's a little unsettling not to know what's up next, but at the same time, the unknown is incredibly exciting. It's living in God's provision, depending on His wisdom.... I can't wait to see what's coming up.

In the interim, I'm keeping busy. The new worship schedule has been set and I'll be leading alot more than I'm used to; I'm teaching Sunday school; and I've been chosen to co-chair h2o. AND I can't forget about the library........ I am SO in over my head with that project. All new responsibilities for me; the unexpected oppurtunities took me by surprise. It's amazing..... I keep thinking back to that day years ago when I asked God to show me how else I can use my gifts to serve Him besides in the worship ministry. How He has expanded my territory since that prayer! Just goes to show: Be extremely careful when you ask God for something. *grin* I guess this is where being "fearless" for Him comes in.... I'm gonna have to be brave and very dependent on Him in order to take all this newness on!

I'm excited for the next chapter.


Flower Series 2006

yaaaaay! another year, another bounty of beautiful blooms in Mum's garden! had such fun poking around in the greenery to capture the gorgeous shapes and colours the best i can.... and the fun part is that i can now share with you! welcome to our garden, everyone!

good morning, gorgeous.....

... tickled pink....

... bright-eyed susans....

... found this one hiding in the corner....

... puurple! it was so breezy that catching this shot was difficult......

... i looove lantern flowers. don't they look like they're glowing?

... oh i do love purple flowers.....

... can someone tell me what this is? it looks like an orchid but i'm sure it's not....

... daisies?

.... reaching for the sky.....


Come Away With Me......

The entry below marks the first in a series of pictures and excerpts..... pieces of my amazing journey to another world that I want to share with you. Come follow me..........

::wEDNESDAY, mAY 31, 2006::
Two more days. Oh God..... two more days! I don't know if I should be jumping for joy and sleepless with excitement, or bawling like a baby at the prospect of it......... I'd never thought I'd see such a day come to pass. And yet, in my heart, in the stillness, I know that this is right and that everything will be ok. Is this what it's like to follow God?

::fRIDAY, jUNE 2, 2006::
I haven't slept since Wednesday night.... miraculously I'm not one bit tired. Must be the adrenaline. Mum & Dad drove me to the airport. Tim, Carmie, Bonnie, Vanny, Andrew, & Fred came to see me off! It was so lovely to have them there..... Denise even called to say "bye"! Karen was really gung-ho on coming, but she overslept. Silly girl.............. I'm so touched that all these people went the extra mile to get to the airport at 04:30 to see me off. I have such AMAZING friends!!! ^-^

Man, it's still really unreal that I'm here.......... I'M NOT GOING HOME TONIGHT. It's unthinkable that I won't be seeing home for 6 weeks. I've been metaphorically pinching myself. The whole situation is very much like crossing an extremely high and flimsy bridge.... you're able to focus and move ahead, but only so long as you don't think too much about where you are. As soon as you realize how incredibly far off the ground you are, you freeze up. Likewise, when I start to dwell on where I'm going and how far from home (FFH!) I am, a resounding, "What on earth am I doing here?!?" starts up.... but fortunately, even before the panic begins, a still small voice tells me, "You're here because God wants you here. Don't forget how far He's already brought you, and don't forget that He will bring you the rest of the way." What sweet assurrance!



sooooo...... i decided that i've had enough of blogger's standard templates....... couple of days ago i went digging for smthg new to try. picked this one for it's understated elegance..... hope you all like it!

these days haven't been horribly busy..... i dunno why it's taking me forever to get ANYTHING done. *sigh* i'm gonna post pictures from Belize here soon.... there are SO many though..... gotta sift through them and pick out the best ones. :p but they WILL be up! SOON!! i promise promise promise!!

this is what i wake up to.......


church picnic 2006

today (well, yesterday, technically!) ccco held the annual church picnic at Rideau River Park. it was a great time of games, food, and just hanging out with friends for most of the day! it was overcast the entire time, but thankfully it didn't rain on us. the mosquitoes were extremely friendly! a bunch of people topped the day off by going canoeing...... i opted out, but managed to capture some great shots of everyone having a good time!

"which one's mine??"......... "eew, there're spiderwebs all over this lock!"

nathan and ivan trying to balance on their paddles.......

just about ready!

ben & sol.... first ones out

don't the girls look cheerful? ^-^

josh & crew

off they go!

just because......


A Week Later.....

Hooey it's early (for me)! Went over to watch the Fong girls this morning while Michelle trained for her triathalon (go Michelle!!), so it was an early start..... got home at 8, but I'm not quite sure what to do since everyone else at home is still sleeping. :)

So..... it's been just about a week since I've arrived back from Belize. It's been comparatively uneventful; in Belize, I was always up to something, never just lying around, watching the boob-tube. It's really apalling how much time we spend watching TV -- even if the programs are good. I really need to learn to walk away from it. It would free up so much more time! Other than TV, I've been kinda mossying around, tidying up my things. Lots that needs to be done, but I never seem to be as productive as I wish to be. I need to be quicker..... but that's the mantra of my life. :p

It's kinda strange.... coming home, it was so easy to slip back into life as it was before, minus many of the obligations I had before I left (for the time being, anyway). How do I be more productive? (I don't necessarily mean finding a job....) Not that I've ever been one to complain about having time to relax. I think that I am perhaps a lazy person my nature. :p Maybe all people are at some level.

Anyway, I digress. As I was begininng to say before, coming home has been odd. Not because it's been difficult getting used to things again, but precisely because it seems all too easy. It's as if nothing has changed. I suppose that is my greatest fear: is it possible -- in all the time I've been away, after seeing all I've seen and hearing all I've heard -- that I haven't been changed at all? What a perplexing thought. That I have been through this whole process and have been given such a great oppurtunity, and nothing worthwhile has come out of the experience, scares me. Coming home has been too easy. Was Belize all just a dream? A slight, inconsequential hiccup in the monotonous rhythm of my comfortable life?? God forbid!

And yet................ I cannot forget the amazing individuals I've met, the amazing stories I've heard. I see things differently, if even just by a margin. I've seen God's provision and faithfulness at work in my life, if not yet His greater purpose for me. It is my hope that these are whisperings of a greater understanding to come -- that this trip has had a more profound impact on me than I have yet been able to realize.

I'm still trying to figure out a good way to post a whole host of pictures from the trip...... Flickr only allows three albums (and I need alot more!) for organizing photos, and I don't think Yahoo lets you label each picutre with a caption. I may just end up posting batches here, eventhough it'll be a loooong process. That way I can post pictures, captions, and possibly short blurbs about each batch. Hmmm...... Has anyone got any good ideas?


Life Lesson Learned:

In life, we always come across issues or people that we feel a certain way towards. We have to choose our course of action, despite those feelings. The right thing to do may or may not align with our hearts, but that's the way it is....... there's wisdom to be gained in learning to grow out of being swept away by your emotions and letting that dictate your judgement and actions.

Darnit all...... I think I'm growing up and moving on. *sigh* It's almost a pity, but I know I'm better for it. C'est la vie, ne?


spent last nite re-visiting childhood favorites..... *heehee* oh the things one does when one has time (or MAKES time, while in the middle of thesis revisions.... haha). :p this site has summaries of a whooooole slew of old tv shows..... i happily relived my childhood as i watched introductions for captain planet (seems SO dorky now!), hello kitty, lois & clark: the new adventures of superman, and (oh yes!) the mighty morphin' power rangers.

i also watched first knight..... an old favorite. one line in particular jumped out at me from last nite's viewing that hadn't before:

"there are laws that enslave men, and laws that set them free. either what we hold to be right and good and true, IS right and good and true for all mankind under God, or we're just another robber tribe."
-Sean Connery as King Arthur (First Knight)

i dunno.... i just found it to be such a true statement. in today's society, it's all about relativity..... everyone's way is the right way. as Christians we know otherwise...... there is a truth that is above reproach, above Man's ability to judge. it's just interesting when statements like this turn up in secular culture..... they speak something so true, yet they don't even realize what they're saying.


i'm doone, i'm dooone, i'm dooooooooonnnnnnnneeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! until defence and final revisions anyway. :p i'm just glad all the writing's finally finished!!!!!! now. sleep sounds like a grand idea. :)


i sat there tonight, silent.... smiling. like a girl with a jewel in her mouth. should i have said something?

what words need to be shared, will be shared i'm sure.


My heart is so full.... full to bursting. I am a blessed, blessed child of God, and He is SO faithful to me! 2 Corinthians has never rung truer... He is indeed more than extravagant me.

Lord I'm amazed by You
Lord I'm amazed by You
Lord I'm amazed by You
And how You love me

Thank you, thank you, thank you, Jesus! I will sing of Your love and faithfulness all the days of my life. ^_______^


I'm procrastinating again...... a mini-hiatus from thesis-writing.... *sigh* how i wish it were done!!!! i've made depressingly little progress. moving at a "snail's pace" has a whole new meaning. >.< anyway. this is merely for my enjoyment, so there is no need to read on..... if you do, you've been warned!!

Complete Randomness
How Do You Feel Right Now?:mediocre.... very blah.
What's Your Name?:Stephanie
Are You Photogenic? (Be Honest):no.
What's The Most You've Spent On An Article Of Clothing? (Or Shoes):$100? i hate spending big on clothes....
If You Could Have Anything Right Now, What Would It Be?:my completed thesis!!!!!!!!
What Was The Last Thing You Ate?:pita dippers from Roosters with hummous and garlic sauce *yum!*
What's The Name Of The Last Person You Kissed?:Priscilla
Favorite Store To Shop At?:ikea.... with salem's a very, VERY close second. ^^
Do You Own Any Video Game Systens? If So What Ones?:nope
Bronze, Silver, Or Gold (Colorwise):silver
What Was The Last Movie You Saw In Theaters?:narnia: the lion, the witch, and the wardrobe
Who'd You Go With?:Mum, Mui, Jean, Cal, Rachel, Jill
Do You Have An iPod? If So What Color Is It?:i do! Eris is white.
Name The Last Resteraunt You Ate At (Not Fast Food):Mee Xim (last friday w/ Chung, Jean, and txp!)
What's Your Favorite Season?:spring!
What's The Farthest You've Gone With A Boy/Girl?:haven't "gone" anywhere with anyone. ^^
Can You Sew?:a bit
Can You Cook?:a bit
Do You Like Being Outside In The Rain?:i do! though not with school books and other things that suffer when wet. :P
If You Found A Wallet With 100,000 In It, Would You Keep It?:no..... although i'd be tempted for sure.
Name Three Of Your Closest Friends:Carmie, Denise, Karen! (& others..... can I add? Mellie! Jean!)
What Are Your Parent's Names?:Mum & Dad
Ever Been Bowling?:yep
Would You Rather Freeze Or Burn To Death?:neither, thank you!
Do You Like Zebra's Or Turtles Better?:turtles... =D
If You Could See Any Band In Concert & Get Backstage Passes Who Would It Be:hrrrrmmmm.... tough call..... Jars of Clay /Anberlin/Skillet/Emery I guess! (definitely Beth Dillon or Plumb if solo artists count!)
How Many TV's Are In Your House?:2
What's Your Favorite Sport To Play?:soccer/basketball/volleyball
Do You Own A Scooter:nope


here's what happens when steph gets too much work to do.....

Music Shuffle
Put your mp3 player on shuffle, and list the first ten songs.
First Song::Real Life Fairytale (Plumb)
Second Song::In a Lose, Lose Situation (Emery)
Third Song::I Can't Do This (Plumb)
Fourth Song::S'Wonderful (Diana Krall)
Fifth Song::Saviour (Skillet)
Sixth Song::Luckiest (Manic Drive)
Seventh Song::My Love Has't Grow Cold (Bethany Dillon)
Eight Song::Paperthin Hymn (Anberlin)
Ninth Song::If I Never Knew You (Pocahontas)
Tenth Song::Why Did I Let You Go? (V*enna)
Time to see what they mean to you!
Who does song 1 remind you of?:Errm..... someone I'd like to meet one day. ^-^
What part of your life does song 2 describe the best?:now.
If you could dedicate song 3 to someone, who would it be?:to all disgruntled students.
Does Song 4's lyrics mean anything to you personally?:kinda..... it s'wonderful how Jesus loves me! *grin*
Why do you like song 5?:b/c skillet is da bomb.
When did you first start listening to the artist of song 6?:err... last summer (2005)
How many albums do you have from the artist of song 7?:two
How are number 8 and 9 similar?:it's about human relationships
What is number 10's meaning?:regret that an oppurtunity to share Christ with someone was missed
What song out of the 10 is your favorite?:7
What song out of the 10 is your least favorite?:4
Which song means the most to you and why?:3... because it describes me to a 't'. ^-^
Would you dedicate any of these to your love/crush?:1!
Would you dedicate any of these to your enemy?:yeah... 10
Do these top ten songs fairly reflect your music collection?:pretty fairly


Put your iTunes/Winamp/WMP on shuffle.
Say the following questions aloud, and press play.
Use the song title as the answer to the question.

1. How does the world see you?
Great is Thy Faithfulness (Lincoln Brewster) - uuuuh..... ok?

2. Will I have a happy life?
Quadukka-L-Mayyas (Jesse Cook) - err.... don't even know what that means.
edit: uuuh..... found out that it means "your proud figure" or "your sexy body" in arabic (depending on which translation of the song u look at). now i know..... and i'm not sure what it means for a happy life...... *eep*?? O_o

3. What do my friends think of me?
Shattered Life (Seventh Day Slumber) - uhoh...

4. Do people secretly lust after me?
So Cold I Could See My Breath (Emery)

5. How can I make myself happy?
Never Take Friendship Personal (Anberlin) - but i thought it was the other way around!

6. What should I do with my life?
Everybody's Fool (Evanescence) - but but but..... i protest!

7. Will I ever have children?
The Look of Love (Diana Krall) - and so that means...... yes?

8. What is some good advice for me?
Another Day (Natalie Grant) - very GOOD advice too *nodding*

9. How will I be remembered?
Blue Moon (Mel Torme) - aww. i don't wanna be remembered as a lonely person. :(

10. What's my signature dancing song?
Dare You to Move (Switchfoot) - aww. SO not a dancing song......

11. What's my current themesong?
New (Bethany Dillon) - ^-^ love it!

12. What do others think is my current themesong?
Candy-Coated Waterdrops (Plumb)

13. What shall they play at my funeral?
Sanity (Matt Brouwer) - haha..... hopefully it's not cuz i lost it.....

14. What type of *man* do I like? (that was edited...... do NOT lean the other way!)
Freedom (Michael W. Smith) - *lol*..... a free spirit, huh?

15. How's my love life?
I Could Write a Book (Dinah Washington) - HA...... riiiight. if only. *rolls eyes*

alright..... some of those made no sense..... but 'twas fun anyhow. back to the grind, slave!
God, i can't do this. i can't.

everything's coming down on me....... giving up looks GREAT right now. i know this doesn't matter much in eternity's light, but it's consumed me now. can't even concentrate........ how do i keep things in perspective when i can't even see around its bulk? ugh.


Thought this was interesting..... i think we really aren't aware of how big our Family is..... for sure there are people with many many needs immediately around us, but we just don't think about all these other ppl that to a greater or lesser degree impact our lives everyday -- they need prayer just as much as we do!

Prayer is Precious (Russ Breimeier - ChristianityToday.com))
Hard for me to fathom that it's been nearly nine years since my long internship with EMI Christian Music Group in Nashville. I remember it like yesterday, not just the excitement of working for a prestigious record label, but also the adventure of going out on my own away from all my family and friends. Because I was alone and exploring the possibility of calling Nashville home should I find employment, I had the pleasure of sampling several churches in the area during my stay.

One week early on, I was caught off guard during the prayers in the worship service. There were petitions for an ailing relative of Michael Card, a difficult pregnancy for Wes King and his wife, and some other request on behalf of Phil Keaggy. I had no reason to be surprised, having learned in advance that several Christian artists called this particular congregation home. But just like at my home church, my mind triggered at the sound of a familiar name, causing my heart to send along a little extra boost of prayer.

For me, it was a reminder that the church is much bigger than we often make it. Over the years, I had prayed for people in my congregation that I'd never met, for missionaries overseas, for our country's leaders, for people in the national news. Why then should praying for Christian artists be any different? When you think about it, some of them are more present in our lives than we realize, depending on how often we play their CDs or sing their songs in church.

Looking back, perhaps I was letting celebrity getting in the way of prayer, allowing their spotlight and perceived success to get in the way of recognizing the needs and joys of our fellow brothers and sisters in Christ. Since then, it's something I've tried to take more seriously, especially now that I interact with so many within the industry. Though artists do try to maintain some privacy with their personal lives, I encourage you to keep tabs on the happenings of your favorites via their websites. Additionally, knowing that we're all capable of criticism, I challenge you to pray for an artist you don't care for. It could simply be for someone who you think can do better, or perhaps even a non-Christian artist that has offended your sensibilities many times before. None of us are beyond the need for prayer and God's mercy, even if they are outside our everyday spheres of activity.


lonely planet.....

i've mostly succeeded in avoiding all-niters this year..... i've forgotten what a lonely endeavor it is. tonite the topic is snow. hrrrmmmmmmmm.................. whoever thought that ppl actually go out to study snow?!??? isn't it just that white stuff that's fun to play in and a pain to shovel? i guess there are important uses for such studies.... like predicting the amount of spring melt and the subsequent amount of flooding and water available for municipal utilization...... but who knew?? honestly, this was borderline for me....... and right now, it's looking more useless by the second. sleep beckons.

back i go........

edit: the clock now tells me it's 7:30 am...... tippy, let's go find our bed. -_-


Take a look at the following article.... it's so inspiring when Christians use their fame as a platform for reaching the unsaved. I'll warn you now.... the articles a bit long.... but it's a good one! I love how Cindy followed God where He led her.... and ended up doing amazing things! It makes me happy to see that she is still so grounded and aware that God is in control, and is willing to go with whatever He has planned for her next. People like Cindy Klassen make me so proud to be Canadian! ^-^

Cindy Klassen speeding for His sake
By Shirley Byers
SHE LOVES classic literature, good music, great art, and visiting new places. She loves God and her family. And she loves to compete on the ice. Following in the skate grooves of Catriona LeMay Doan -- once known as the fastest woman on ice -- Cindy Klassen sped her way to a bronze medal in the 2002 Olympic Games in Salt Lake City and came within a hair of two more.
Surprisingly, however, the Winnipeg native didn't even consider speed skating until she was 18 years old. She still dreamed of making it to the Olympics, but as a hockey player.
Klassen has held a hockey stick since the age of five. In 1996, the 17-year-old power-house was playing defense for Canada's National Junior Women's Hockey team. Then, in 1998, she was invited to try out for Canada's Olympic team.
"I did my best, and was pleased with my performance," comments Klassen. "I was fairly certain I had made the team."
She was at home with her parents when the devastating news came. Klassen hadn't made the team. "I felt hurt and angry, sad and confused all at the same time." She recalls.
Still reeling from her disappointment, Klassen received a call from the National Women's Hockey Team, encouraging her to move to Calgary. Although she wouldn't be on the team, Klassen could still train with them.
She complied, joining her former teammates in Alberta. However, she admits: "I couldn't handle being around all the players who had made the team while I had been cut."
So, soon after she'd arrived in Calgary, Klassen gathered her things and went home with the intent of playing on a recreational hockey team. Following her transition home, Klassen's parents -- who urged her to speed skate as a child -- broached the subject again.
Klassen had never been thrilled about what she termed "those skin-tight outfits and strange, long-bladed skates," but because her mother could get a discount on the equipment, she agreed to give it a try.
"It was so hard to even stand on the skates. I had a lot of trouble learning the technique," explains Klassen. "All of my training for 13 years had been geared to hockey and this was so different.
"There were still those weird outfits . . . For the better part of my first year in speed skating, I went against the grain, and wore very baggy clothes," Klassen laughs.
"But at the same time, I was finding that I loved doing an individual sport -- because what you put into it, you get out of it."
And Klassen put her whole self into it. She trained six days a week, her daily schedule consisting of two and a half hours on the ice in the morning, lunch, a nap and two hours of either cycling or weights in the afternoon. Her strenuous work paid off, as Klassen competed successfully in the World Championships and World Cups.
Then her lifelong dream was realized when she made it to the Winter Olympics.
"The World Championships can be pretty amazing but the Olympics takes this to a new level," says Klassen.
"For a time in Salt Lake, the pressure was getting to me," she admits. "I wasn't sleeping, I couldn't eat. I was so nervous."
She registered to compete in four events -- the 1,000, 1,500, 3,000 and 5,000 meters. When the time came for the 3,000-metre race, her anxiety skyrocketed.
"But that very day," she recalls, "I received an e-mail from the students at my old high school (Mennonite Brethren Collegiate Institute). [It] was packed with notes of encouragement, telling me they were cheering [and] praying for me."
"And that's when it hit me," Klassen continues. "This is just another race. [God] knows the outcome. All I can do is use what He's given me. All I can do is do the best I can. So, that's what I did."
Suddenly it was all over, and Klassen found herself standing on the podium. Her "best" had been rewarded with an Olympic bronze medal.
Since then, the geography major has only continued to improve, and in 2003 she became the first Canadian in 27 years to win the overall title at the World Speed Skating Championships.
Klassen now recognizes that, despite being rejected by the Olympic hockey team, "God was leading me. This was his plan all along. I learned by getting cut."
As a believer in Jesus Christ, she adds, "even when you want things . . . if it's not in God's will, it's not going to happen. I've learned to go along with that.
"Right now in speed skating I'm having the time of my life, but I have to be ready to move on if He wants me to do something else."
Klassen desires to be as open about her faith as former teammate and gold medalist, Catriona LeMay Doan, who told City Light News, "It's my relationship with Jesus that gives me true significance."
Inspired by Doan's boldness, Klassen says, "I want to use the publicity I've gotten through my success for His glory. I go back to my old high school and talk to the students. I . . . let people know I'm a Christian."
She adds, "I've won a medal, but that's nothing compared to the crown I'll get in Heaven. I see a lot of people in sports who think when they reach a certain level they've got it made, but really, you can only find happiness in the Lord."
-- courtesy of Living Light News


mary & martha.......

had a lovely time of sharing and praying with four of my beautiful sisters earlier this evening! *yaaaay... i'm now an adopted cousin!!!*

h2o's helping hands for hire was one of our main topics of discussion tonite. oh last-minuteness again!! *hee* not many ppl signed up to hire us, despite our efforts to somewhat up the promo this time around...... so we were left scrambling to find odd-jobs to do. after much deliberation tonite, we finally got down to praying (leave it to us to *save* praying for last!), and Karen said something about being Mary and being Martha that totally struck me. helping ppl is a GOOD thing to do..... we had every good intention when we started out. but things spiralled out of our control, and we wanted to fix it..... we wanted to do something. doing it ourselves.... that's not the point. we've totally been martha's (i have been anyway!), worrying over incomplete tasks, while the whole time the point was to sit and wait before the Lord and see what good things He has in store, like mary did. it was humbling to be reminded once again that i can't do it on my own, no matter how hard i may try and how good my intentions are.

don't you love it when God uses His word to show you/remind you of a truth?? it never ceases to amaze me that something so ancient can still be so applicable to me today. i guess humans never do learn, do we? :)


OH MAN. this is waaay too silly. i have to admit..... it's a geeky thing because i like geology. *heeeeeee* plus it brings back the 'pet rock' phase that we went through.....

Everybody needs a rock.

I'm sorry for kids who don't have a rock for a friend.

(Byrd Baylor, from "Everybody Needs a Rock")


yay gym nite!

we had our *semesterly* gymnite at OU this past Friday (absolutely HAD to wear the raven shirt!) ..... i had an awsome time! i've missed playing basketball...... eventhough i wasn't REALLY giving it 100%, but whatever. it was fun watching the guys. ("shuffle steph, shuffle!!!") franki was there too, which was the nice part...... it would've been nicer still if he played with us. instead, we spent the evening being his guinea pigs as he tried out his new camera lens. ("don't you DARE take a picture of me..... frank!") *sigh* ah well...... must admit though, he did get some pretty good shots in..... and it's nice to have that wonderful time of fun documented. *grin* enjoy!

fly birdie, flyyyyy!!

incredible jumpers....

hiding from the camera...

this isn't a physical contact sport.... so YOU think.

look at tom go!

michelle getting some action in.....



setting our sights on faraway lands.....

wow. it's SO interesting how so many of us are looking to step out of our comfort zones this summer...... looking to faraway places and seeing if God will lead us there to serve. it's so awsome to hear about all this passion! and finding the same awakening in myself......... it's amazing. it also strikes me as interesting that we are looking to more than just the church-sponsored projects....... let me clarify, there is NOTHING wrong with the ones that our church is involved with....... no project is unworthy, believe me. but somehow, i've always wondered what other oppurtunities there were out there.

nothing's written in stone for any of us yet, so i'm not gonna mention any specifics...... but i will ask all of you reading this to keep those of us that are considering, and those of us that God is working on, in your prayers. thaaanks! ^-^


heard this song for the first time a couple days ago... it was sooooo super sweet and struck a chord with the hopeless romantic in me, so much so that i couldn't resist hunting down the lyrics. ^-^ i know i know...... it's not valentine's day yet! so sue me. *pbbt.*

Chris Rice - When Did You Fall
From the album Amusing

You’re all smiles and silly conversation
As if this sunny day came just for you
You twist your hair, you smile and you turn your eyes away
C’mon, tell me what’s right with you
Now it dawns on me probably everybody’s talkin’
And there’s something here I’m supposed to realize
‘Cause your secret’s out, and the universe laughs at it’s joke on me
I just caught it in your eyes, it’s a beautiful surprise

When did you fall in love with me?
Was it out of the blue
‘Cause I swear I never knew it
When did you let your heart run free?
Have you been waiting long?
When did you fall in love with me?
When did you fall in love?

Make your way over here, sit down by this fool, and let’s rewind
C’mon, let’s go back and replay all our scenes
You can point out the hints, the clues, the twists and the smiles this time
All the ones that slipped by me
I bet my face is red, and you can hear my heart poundin’
Well I guess it don’t matter now that I realize
‘Cause baby I missed it then, but I can surely see you now
Right there before my eyes
You’re my beautiful surprise


Was it at the coffee shop
Or that morning at the bus stop
When you almost slipped, and I caught your hand
Or the time we built the snowman
The day at the beach, sandy and warm
Or the night with the scary thunderstorm
I never saw the signs
Now we’ve got to make up for lost time
And I can tell now by the way that you’re looking at me
I’d better finish this song so my lips will be free

Have you been waiting long, when did you fall in love
I kept you waiting so long, when did you fall
Have you been waiting long
When did you fall in love with me
When did you fall in love?

Copyright 2005 Clumsy Fly Music (ASCAP)


post from january 12th:

a new year has started...... i'm still bitter that i was cheated of one extra week of official holiday. :P how strange to think that half on janurary is almost gone. time really is like water slipping through one's fingers............

i never made resolutions before...... i mean, why make 'em if all you end up doing is not fulfilling them? but this year's a little different..... i feel as though God's really been showing me that i'm just not able without Him. so i decided to make, not so much a resolution, but a theme for the year: refuse to be independent. catchy, huh? ^-^ actually, i didn't come up with that (what do u take me for, a genius?!).... came from oswald chambers' my utmost for his highest......... i never picked it up before, but decided to go through it after it was suggested to me from one of my girls! it is so full of profound insight. definitely peruse through it, if you could get your hands on one!

school's started again. can't believe it's my last sem. i've got 4 classes and my thesis....... a little apprehensive about the last item. i still feel as though i haven't done enough work on it (because i really haven't! didn't work on it at all over the holidays....). weeell.... the only thing to do is to trek on, i suppose. and drench the project with prayer. :P boy do i ever need that.


NEWS FLASH!!!!!!! there's a new singing sensation in town........ she's beautiful, she's wonderful, she's talented, she comes highly recommended by the pastoral staff......... who is she, you ask????? why it's none other than............................................................

KAREN LEUNG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!