setting our sights on faraway lands.....

wow. it's SO interesting how so many of us are looking to step out of our comfort zones this summer...... looking to faraway places and seeing if God will lead us there to serve. it's so awsome to hear about all this passion! and finding the same awakening in myself......... it's amazing. it also strikes me as interesting that we are looking to more than just the church-sponsored projects....... let me clarify, there is NOTHING wrong with the ones that our church is involved with....... no project is unworthy, believe me. but somehow, i've always wondered what other oppurtunities there were out there.

nothing's written in stone for any of us yet, so i'm not gonna mention any specifics...... but i will ask all of you reading this to keep those of us that are considering, and those of us that God is working on, in your prayers. thaaanks! ^-^

heard this song for the first time a couple days ago... it was sooooo super sweet and struck a chord with the hopeless romantic in me, so much so that i couldn't resist hunting down the lyrics. ^-^ i know i know...... it's not valentine's day yet! so sue me. *pbbt.*

Chris Rice - When Did You Fall
From the album Amusing

You’re all smiles and silly conversation
As if this sunny day came just for you
You twist your hair, you smile and you turn your eyes away
C’mon, tell me what’s right with you
Now it dawns on me probably everybody’s talkin’
And there’s something here I’m supposed to realize
‘Cause your secret’s out, and the universe laughs at it’s joke on me
I just caught it in your eyes, it’s a beautiful surprise

Chorus:
When did you fall in love with me?
Was it out of the blue
‘Cause I swear I never knew it
When did you let your heart run free?
Have you been waiting long?
When did you fall in love with me?
When did you fall in love?

Make your way over here, sit down by this fool, and let’s rewind
C’mon, let’s go back and replay all our scenes
You can point out the hints, the clues, the twists and the smiles this time
All the ones that slipped by me
I bet my face is red, and you can hear my heart poundin’
Well I guess it don’t matter now that I realize
‘Cause baby I missed it then, but I can surely see you now
Right there before my eyes
You’re my beautiful surprise

Chorus:

Was it at the coffee shop
Or that morning at the bus stop
When you almost slipped, and I caught your hand
Or the time we built the snowman
The day at the beach, sandy and warm
Or the night with the scary thunderstorm
I never saw the signs
Now we’ve got to make up for lost time
And I can tell now by the way that you’re looking at me
I’d better finish this song so my lips will be free

Have you been waiting long, when did you fall in love
I kept you waiting so long, when did you fall
Have you been waiting long
When did you fall in love with me
When did you fall in love?

Copyright 2005 Clumsy Fly Music (ASCAP)

post from january 12th:

a new year has started...... i'm still bitter that i was cheated of one extra week of official holiday. :P how strange to think that half on janurary is almost gone. time really is like water slipping through one's fingers............

i never made resolutions before...... i mean, why make 'em if all you end up doing is not fulfilling them? but this year's a little different..... i feel as though God's really been showing me that i'm just not able without Him. so i decided to make, not so much a resolution, but a theme for the year: refuse to be independent. catchy, huh? ^-^ actually, i didn't come up with that (what do u take me for, a genius?!).... came from oswald chambers' my utmost for his highest......... i never picked it up before, but decided to go through it after it was suggested to me from one of my girls! it is so full of profound insight. definitely peruse through it, if you could get your hands on one!

school's started again. can't believe it's my last sem. i've got 4 classes and my thesis....... a little apprehensive about the last item. i still feel as though i haven't done enough work on it (because i really haven't! didn't work on it at all over the holidays....). weeell.... the only thing to do is to trek on, i suppose. and drench the project with prayer. :P boy do i ever need that.

NEWS FLASH!!!!!!! there's a new singing sensation in town........ she's beautiful, she's wonderful, she's talented, she comes highly recommended by the pastoral staff......... who is she, you ask????? why it's none other than............................................................

KAREN LEUNG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I'm all finished with school for now..... wow. What a BIG sigh of relief. Time really flew this past semester..... can I really be done? Can I REALLY have one semester left before this is all over????? Whatever will I do with myself???

Snow Gala madness this week..... but in a GOOD way of course! ^-^ I'm sure that it's gonna turn out AMAZING...... I'm always in awe of how h2o-ers team up to make an event a HUGE success, beyond anything I could have hoped for. God has been SO good to us this past semester! I'm so excited to see what He has planned for us in the new year. Here's what I've been working on this week:


h2o Snow Gala 2005: finished program


h2o Snow gala 2005: program close-up

hmmmm. extremely interesting conversation going on behind me right now...... it originated from electron orbitals, and has now meandered over to faith and religion and logic. these physicists (i think that's what they're in..... i don't know these guys). what minds! here's an interesting thought: "if people believe that there's a heaven, then why aren't they doing everything in their power to get into it?" hmm. good question. and another observation, "it takes balls to believe in a religion... to have faith." *lol* it definitely does.......

MUAHA..... i REALLY should be studying geophysics...... but ANYWAY. this was from lyds' site::

10 Firsts:
- first best friend: celeste & esther (wow..... all the way back in HK!)
- first screename: stevie
- first kiss: my parents, most likely.
- first pet: the bunny my parents let me have for a day then promptly returned...... :(
- first piercing: ears
- first crush: err....... a boy named matt in grade 2...... he was a twin! and he was cute. *lol*
- first music: jaci velasquez, heavenly place. or if u go furthur back than that..... psalty the singing song book?! ^^
- first car: hot wheels that actually belonged to ben*grin*
- first love: Jesus
- first date: i've never been on one. :P

9 Lasts:
- last cigarette: never had one
- last alchoholic drink: hmm. currant wine. that was good..... right at the sweet-bitter threshold. *grin* wanted to try sangria but i didn't have id with me...... *sigh*
- last car ride: Mum driving me home from the library last nite
- last real kiss: not yet!
- last movie seen: half of "The Four Feathers" last nite.
- last phone call: err...... my mum last nite, asking her to get me from the library?
- last CD played: Bethany Dillon - Imagination
- last bubble bath: haven't had one in years. literally.
- last time you cried: err, i don't remember. last month?

8 Have You Evers:
- have you ever been arrested: no. (regardless of the hoyden some ppl *ahem, frank!* think i am. *grin*)
- have you ever dated one your best friends: noo.
- have you ever skinny dipped: haha..... definitely NOT.
- have you ever been on TV: i think so..... caught in some shots for the news.
- have you ever kissed someone & then regretted it: nooooope. i don't kiss ppl i don't LOVE.
- have you ever been dumped: nopers.
- have you ever snuck out: hmm. out of what? home? (no) lectures? (yep)
- have you ever been in a fight: a physical one? does sparring count??

7 Things You're Wearing:
- jeans
- hiking boots
- white t-shirt
- my "soft rocker" owl tee
- glasses
- grey sweater
- sous-vetements....... *muahaha*

6 Things You've Done Today:
- woke up
- brush my teeth
- feed kaji
- ride the bus
- read a novel (wish i could replace that with "Bible"...... but there u have it......)
- check e-mail

5 Favorite Things In No Particular Order:
- God
- music
- books
- blue skies
- hot chocolate

4 People You Can Tell Anything To (well maybe not ANYTHING):
- Jesus
- Carmie
- Denise
- Melly

3 Choices:
- black or white: black
- hot or cold: hot
- chocolate or vanilla: chocolate

2 Things You Want to Do Before You Die:
- share the gospel
- dig a well

i'll go back and reply to the last post later..... but for now, i must mention a (belated.... his birthday was on the 6th!) happy birthday to prolific composer & director extraordinaire Joe Hisaishi (composer of the soundtracks to My Neighbour Totoro, Nausicaa, & Mononoke Hime.......). do i ever love his music! right up there with frank sinatra, baby! if you have never heard his stuff....... i dunno what to say. ur life is not complete? u poor, deprived child? ask me for his music?? *lol*

i've been obligated........::

if you reply to my journal:

1. i'll respond with something random about you.

2. i'll tell you what song/movie reminds me of you.

3. i'll pick a flavor of jello to wrestle with you in.

4. i'll say something that only makes sense to you and me.

5. i'll tell you my first/clearest memory of you.

6. i'll tell you what animal you remind me of.

7. i'll ask you something that i've always wondered about you.

8. you must put this into your journal.

Another afternoon at Havenbooks....... except today there're no sun-spots to languish in. :( It's actually very grey outside..... totally not a do-work type of day..... more like a snuggle-with-tippy-and-a-blanket-and-book kind of day. I've got my LAST presentation/thing to do for school tomorrow! I'm excited.... ^-^ Although I don't feel like working on it at all right now. *blah*. It's not even that difficult..... I am my own worst obstacle in this. I wish I was a fairy. Then I can wave my magic wand and MAKE my project be done. ~*

Frank Sinatra's playing in the background..... omigosh, I LOVE his music!!!!! It's so fun and feel-good and romantic..... all at once. *grin* His music totally takes me back to another time.... It is THE best. "I've got a crush on you........."

Aww....... Tara's leaving meeeeee! I'm so upset. *sniff* :*( But then again..... I wouldn't want to stay at work if I could go home (to work on my presentation..... oh what fun.). The consensus at work today is that I am both evil and adorable. *muaha.* Oh, and I'm reportedly crazy as well.

My most sincere apologies for a post that's so all-over-the-place! I just don't feel like focusing...... (I think it's an on-going theme this afternoon.... isn't it obvious??) ALRIGHT. I'm gonna try to get some work done.

Note: This wasn't the "promised" blog post...... I'll get to that..... some time later. Just didn't wanna keep the masses on their tippy-toes! *grin*

A quiet afternoon here at Havenbooks today.... prime time to do some homework, but I can't help but savour the moment...... I'm sitting in a sunspot, eating my lunch, and feeling totally quiet and content. ^-^ What a gorgeous day it has been today! The golden sun is smiling. Here're the crisp, invigorating days I missed because of the gloomy autmn we had! Hmm..... don't really have anything substantial to say today.... what random thoughts can I organize into some semblance of order so that I can create a blog post??????

On a different note, my legs are TIRED from swords class....... if I got to sit for the rest of the day, I couldn't be happier. But oh how I'm loving this! The forms are definitely getting more complex now, and it's more of a work-out, but I think that's absolutely a good thing. We started practising jumps today! *grin* Much thanks to all of you that helped convince me to take this. ("Maybe it's God's will for you to gain some self-confidence." *lol!*)

I've never been one to make life-plans/goals...... I've never been one to construct lofty dreams of how I wanted my life to turn out, only to realize later that it isn't what God wanted for me. As a result, I've never truly had to surrender any plans I had, because I didn't have any to give up. I've always counted that as a blessing, because if I didn't have plans, then I'm totally open to what God calls me to, right? So I thought.

In the recent weeks, God has showed me that, whether it's intentional or otherwise, not considering certain options is synonymous to having plans and refusing to give them up for something better. What ever am I speaking of?? Missions! Let me back up a bit.

At the beginning of November, we had missions week at church, and our church-supported missionaries John & Kelly Ulrich (very neat individuals, btw!) came and spoke about their work in Zimbabwe. What exciting lives they lead! And afterward (maybe the next day or so), God started whispering to me...... I have been limiting myself to be used in this way because I've never considered it. Not that I've consciously said," no God, I don't want to be a missionary," but I guess of all the crazy things that God would want me to be, I never thought that this would be one of them. I've never had a great passion for some country or ppl group; I never thought of myself as the missionary type. Maybe I'm more attached to my western lifestyle than I realize. Maybe I'm scared that if I let myself try, I'd get hooked into it one way or another. I dunno. Whatever the reason, I never thought that being a missionary would be a possibility for me. How silly of me to limit myself..... to limit God.... in this way!! Not to say that this is what He's calling me to.... I'm not leaving for the mission field tomorrow or anything. But all this rambling to say that God has showed me that I'm not as open-minded as I once thought I was. All this to say that God has showed me that I need to come before Him and tell Him that I am truely here for Him to use, however He sees fit. All this to say that I'm glad He showed me now, before I missed something great.

All this to challenge each and every one of you, dear friends, to truely and completely give yourself away to God. Open up your self to every possibility, because He has something awesome in mind for you, something that you will spend the rest of your life regretting if you miss the oppurtunity.

Live with abandon.

at the risk of opening up a BIG can of worms (remember a few years back when we all got into a HUGE debate over 'Christian' and 'secular' artists?), i thought this was good to read.......

They'll know we are Christians by our fish?

I was driving in downtown Chicago last week, where traffic seems to be our No. 1 pastime—even ahead of baseball (go Sox!). In my mind-numbed auto stupor, I noticed that the car ahead of me had that little fish on the back (you know, the ichthus?) Really, I couldn't help but notice, not because I'm automatically drawn to Christian symbolism, but because the driver rudely cut me off in traffic without using a turn signal.

Don't get me wrong. I'm sure my driving habits have offended others at some point too. None of us are perfect. But the car fish is one of those everyday cultural items that stir mixed feelings in me. At time I'm filled with good cheer when I see it—"Ah, there goes a brother or sister in Christ. God bless!" And admit it: When a driver with a fish on his car is courteous in traffic, you conclude that they were nice because they were a Christian, as "proven" by the fish, right?

If that's true, then we need to accept the downside of the fish. It brands us as a Christian, and that means when we pull a fast one in traffic, another driver may think, There goes another rude and arrogant Christian. There's great responsibility in wearing the fish, and from my driving experiences, not enough Christians take it seriously.

Should that be any different from wearing the name "Christian" in our everyday living? This directly relates to the whole secular vs. sacred debate. I think some Christian artists are reluctant to be called "Christian artists" because they're afraid that in the spotlight, they will occasionally slip up and misrepresent Christ. It's easy to think, Yes, but we're all family in Christian music—we show grace to each other when we make mistakes—whether in traffic or in the mainstream. Right? Tell that to artists like Amy Grant, P.O.D., Sixpence None the Richer, and Switchfoot.

It's something to consider, the responsibility of being labeled for Christ. As it pertains to music, I can see it either way. Whether or not artists are publicly identified as "Christian artists," I can't stress enough that the emphasis be on their conduct, and not on their label. Personally, I'm not the type who calls much attention to myself with symbols and such. I'd rather be labeled a Christian by my words and actions—that people know me as a Christian by my love, not my shortcomings or my advertising.

~ Russ Breimeier
ChristianityToday.com

i thought that he makes a wonderful point in this short article...... not about the distinction between what makes a artist Christian or not, or even how the Christian community has treated bands that have "crossed over", but about how ppl will label and watch us if we declare ourselves as Christ's followers. isn't it scary? if ppl know that we belong to Christ, how much more will they watch us and point it out when we do wrong?! i mean, we're human too! and we mess things up each and every day. it still surprises me that God would choose such frail, fallible creatures to be the bearers of His truth.

is it at all fair for us to be singled out like this? no one's ever said that God's way was an easy path...... and life, needless to say, is NOT fair (no matter how much we wish it was sometimes!). we shouldn't let fear stop us, because we are not called to cower in the corner, afraid to show the world the precious gift we've been given...... and God has not given us a spirit of fear! definitely easier said than done though....... :I

Father, make me brave for You. ><(>

"The books or the music in which we thought the beauty was located will betray us if we trust to them; it was not in them, it only came through them, and what came through them was longing. These things --- the beauty, the memory of our own past --- are good images of what we really desire; but if they are mistaken for the thing itself they turn into dumb idols, breaking the hearts of their worshippers. For they are not the thing itself; they are only the scent of a flower we have not found, the echo of a tune we have not heard, news from a country we have not visited."

~C.S. Lewis

this wonderful snippet was cited in a book i'm currently reading, which looks at the roots of the ecological crisis the world finds itself in today. it paints such a striking image of truth in my mind...... the book uses this to make a point: present-day society, if they choose to spare it a thought at all, worship nature itself, instead of worshipping nature's Creator, the ultimate artist whose genius is reflected in His creation. and this doesn't merely apply to the way we've idolized nature. look at all that we've glorified.... mere things and people that don't deserve our worship! no wonder we're never satisfied.... no wonder we're always coming up with newer, flashier gimicks to distract ourselves! how can one feel satisfaction when you aren't even looking to the source for the answer? what a wonderful wake-up call. i'm appreciating c.s. lewis' writings more and more.... ^-^

what dumb idols do you find upon the pedestal of your heart?

so after a year and a little bit, i had to bid tristy farewell...... and clara too. was a little sad...... i loved my dear fishies! (especially tristy... since he was really my first pet) but at least my sister didn't bawl unconsolably this time. :P got another fishie (so our tank won't go to waste, Mum says)..... wasn't too keen on getting pushed into replacing my pets so soon at first, but i'm loving my new fish! i've always wanted a betta fish (ie: a fighting fish!)..... and he's so gorgeous! his name's 'kaji'..... that's japanese for 'flame'. here's to hoping that i can take good care of kaji! :)

i neeeed to take a break.................. -_-

gawd how i HATE models....... there's a very very very good reason why i'm not an ecologist.

too bad this thing is due tomorrow. and i would hate to have to wake up and deal with THIS again. so here i am at 2:45 am....... *blaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah.* @_@

Tristy's being all still again....... <=( still eating though, which is definitely good. Mum has a hypothesis..... maybe Tristy's.... pregnant?! no waaaaaay! does that mean tristy's really a girl?! and that Tristy and clara....... oh good grief.

I guess we'll see........

*yaaaaaay!!!* I'm so happy, b/c Tristy seems to be feeling better. For the past few days he hasn't been moving very much at all! Got me soooo worried..... I have a theory that smthg's wrong with his tail. Fortunately he still eats, so I was reasonably sure he wouldn't end up pushing daisies like Ducky. ANYWAY. He seems to be back to normal now (at least for the time being)! Hurraaaay!!!!!


i love u, tristy!!! (an old picture of tristy and nyago..... before i got clara and ducky. ^-^)

Soooooooo...... it's Saturday afternoon here at Haven. "pbbt, pbbt, pbbt," Tara says. *lol* I love it here on Saturdays..... Cocina breakfast club, the BEST Saturday crew in the world..... and to top it all off, Switchfoot playing all day! We must be on the fifth play through the CD...... *wheeeeeee.....* I'm a little bored though..... it's not crazy-busy anymore, but it's not quiet enough to do work. Oh well. It's all fun! ^-^ Even if some customers are knobs. =P

And it's so GORGEOUS outside! I think I'm falling in love with autumn more and more. I ADORE the bright skies and the crisp air! Just right for snuggling in a sweater, or doing something active outside (brings back grade-school memories of playing soccer!)

h2o last night........ here's the start of smthg new. I'm so psyched for h2o this year! The commitee's so commited and so full of good ideas...... It's AMAZING how God has raised up this group of ppl to lead the group...... and I'm glad that I have the oppurtunity to be involved. :) *hurray for co-worship coordinating (TXP, you rock!), and playing guitar on the balcony at sun-set!* Seriously Jean, you have the most gorgeous view from your apartment. And Vanny, thank you so much for leading the discussion this week! And a big thanks to all the 'volunteers' for helping to do the promo for the sidewalk sale!

I love the start of school, because it always feel like a fresh start.... a chance to try new things and to do things right..... this year has been no exception! I can't wait to see what God's gonna do this year. Hurray for September.

ooooooh! it's green! I'm so impressed. *lol* for some reason i've never noticed that i can post in another coloured text. or maybe it's smthg new. :P

i'm at work again...... still no internet at home. lots going on these days. melly's here to visit! and her family's flying in today...... more craziness. nary a moment to myself, but it's all good. i don't get to see her enough. ^-^ it's just a bummer that i haven't done much with her this week because i've been working quite a bit. ooh! we got new counters and computers at work! and new software as well! touchscreens are the absolute bomb. *heeheehee*

registration for this school term has been utterly frusterating. SO many complications, and it ends up that i'm not even able to take the courses i want, even after all the hastle (moose-moose: i don't think the OU courses are gonna fly! :( ) . and i had the hardest time making things fit! *grrrr* u'd THINK that getting to choose your courses would be great...... hmm. not so much. oh well...... it's kinda settled for now. just one more thing to register for, as soon as the class gets added to the class registry list.

ookaaaay...... not much else to say. i'm just killing time until my shift is done. *grin* can u believe that there's nothing pressing to be done at work today? yay!

thought:
"... all these centenarians, -- Prince Riquet, Carabas, Little Red Riding-Hood, Bluebeard, and others. They play with the children, they amuse the elders, there seems to be no end to their fund of spirits and perennial youth.....

No wonder; the stories are only histories of real, living persons turned into fairy princes and princesses. Fairy stories are everywhere and every day. We are all princes and princesses in disguise, or ogres or wicked dwarfs. All these histories are the histories of human nature, which does not seem to change very much in a thousand years or so, and we don't get tired of the fairies because they are so true to it."

-from Folk & Fairy Tales

(Hallett & Karasek, eds.)

"The journey was more important than the place; most important was to return home.... and to be able to say: I have been there, I have gone on a journey, I have come safely home."

- from Something Rich & Strange

(Patricia McKillip)